Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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