it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
