This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
