He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
