Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
