i think my mom watched the whole time
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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