I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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