i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
