we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
