You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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