when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
