I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
