Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
