I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
