the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
