Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
