Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
