OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize