Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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