You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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