You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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