I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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