Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
