i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
