Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
