Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
