You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I smell stomach acid.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Randomize
