Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
