I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
