Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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