I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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