that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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