Plan B is the new Plan A
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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