How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
