I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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