I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
