yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
