But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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