watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
