the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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