cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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