i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
