Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
