I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
