I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I need to align my fucking chakras
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
