i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
