i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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