We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
