I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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