theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
