i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
