I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
