My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
