I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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