Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
and she was petting her beer can
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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