You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
