wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
