They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
