it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
