she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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