You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
