it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
