We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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