Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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