this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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