I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
