you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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