the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You made out with two different species that night
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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